OLGC Society marks 10 years of dealing with abuse

By LAUREEN McMAHON

At a recent Mass at St. Mary’s Church in Maple Ridge, a young woman sat down next to parishioner Mary McLeod, turned to her and said, “You’re Mary, aren’t you? I’m Ellen.”

Although it took McLeod a few moments to connect the name to the face, she realized that she did indeed know the visitor. As she later told The B.C. Catholic, “It was Ellen, but a much more relaxed, happy, and even younger-looking Ellen than I remembered!”

It turned out that McLeod, who has worked as a trained volunteer with Domestic Abuse Services – Our Lady of Good Counsel Society for nearly a decade, was the voice on the other end of the phone when Ellen called the crisis line nine years ago.

The young mother became the first client the agency counselled, providing safe housing and other services for her and her children.

What Ellen mainly remembers today, she says, is that McLeod’s compassionate response helped her realize that she was not alone.

“I had a three-month-old and three other children when I met Father Craig Scott and told him what we were going through. Right away, he suggested I call the crisis line, and within a week we were in a safe home.”

Since that time, volunteers have kept in touch with Ellen, offering encouragement, advice, and practical help. Her Catholic faith, she said, has become much stronger, “thanks to God and to their belief in me. It’s been a rough road at times, but they have been there for us.”

Ten years of reaching out to victims of domestic violence with spiritual, legal, financial, and psychological support is a terrific reason to celebrate, so 180 volunteers, pastors, and supporters of Domestic Abuse Services – Our Lady of Good Counsel Society gathered on Jan. 21 at St. Patrick’s Church in Vancouver for an anniversary Mass, open house, and dinner.

Communications chairwoman Stephanie Locking said the tone was set for the evening by Bishop Gerald Wiesner of Prince George, who gave an inspirational talk on the spirituality of non-violence.

Christ made it clear, the bishop told volunteers, that peace was to be a legacy of His ministry. “Peace I leave with you; My peace I give to you” (John 14:27).

Violence of any kind destroys peace, said Bishop Wiesner, yet our world squanders countless billions of dollars on luxury consumer goods while real efforts to build a culture of peace are lacking.

According to statistics, the bishop stressed, domestic violence affects one in three women in some way. He congratulated the volunteers on standing with those whose dignity and humanity have been devalued.

“You are following in the footsteps of Jesus, Who was moved by compassion for the vulnerable,” he told them.

Each year, hundreds of heartbreaking calls are handled by volunteers who refer families to safe housing and services, said Locking.

At the anniversary celebrations, major milestones and achievements were recalled by the agency founders who guided everyone on a “trip down memory lane.”

The idea for the outreach was born when, while lunching together, a group of Catholic Women’s League members vowed to learn more about how domestic violence affects families.

The first step, said Elaine Moonen, was to send out a questionnaire to Catholic Family Services and North Shore pastors.

“Their response showed a need for preventative education and direct services such as a crisis line and safe shelters. From the beginning, we agreed to help all victims of domestic abuse, regardless of religion, age, sex, or financial circumstances.”

A membership drive launched at an archdiocesan CWL meeting was followed in 1996 by CWL and Knights of Columbus councils co-sponsoring a training session that drew 27 potential volunteers. The next move, said Moonen, was finding experts to speak at priests’ study days.

“Our records show that the bishop-elect for Whitehorse, Father Gary Gordon, spoke of breaking the cycle of violence and increasing the self-esteem of girls at St. Mary’s School in Chilliwack by instituting a zero-tolerance policy towards violence.”

Pat Battensby spoke of the “building years” when pastors Father Scott, Father Vincent Hawkswell, and Father Larry Holland offered support.

“In the beginning, we were like a group of nomads lugging our books and files around to meetings. We came from different backgrounds and experience but were united by the common thread of passion for this cause.”

A crisis line was established, and soon an average of 20 abuse calls per month were coming in. Father Scott compiled a list of priests to counsel clients, said Battensby.

A valuable role was taken on by Elaine Winkler, who reorganized the Direct Service Volunteers and formed a prayer group which remains an important mainstay, Battensby added.

The outreach grew with organized retreats and days of recollection. The society gave a bursary to a volunteer who was enrolled at the Justice Institute to learn how children who had witnessed abuse could be helped.

New policy and training manuals were produced, Battensby said. “We made great strides on educational awareness by putting a weekly notice in The B.C. Catholic’s What’s On column and buying ads as well.”

Brochures explaining the services were sent to parishes, and volunteers spoke each year at CWL national conventions.

“God gifted us with two dynamos in the form of Sisters Nancy Brown and Edna Walsh, Sisters of Charity of Halifax, whose enthusiasm and knowledge have kept us dancing every since!” said Battensby.

Domestic Abuse Services is now engaged in holding events to raise money to open a safe house for victims of domestic violence in the Vancouver archdiocese.

Donors include St. Mary’s CWL council in Chilliwack, which recently donated $3,500, and the Micallef family, who gave a generous bequest in memory of the late Margaret Micallef, a great OLOGCS supporter. Father Hawkswell was thanked for his efforts to facilitate another large donation.

Ann Dobie acknowledged the CWL and Knights of Columbus councils for their staunch support, “both prayerfully and financially.”

A large gift from the estate of the late Eva Li was matched by another from her husband K Y Wong, which brought the total family donation to $200,000. This is being saved for the acquisition of the transition house, said Barbara Dowding.

In 2000, OLOGCS decided to change their name to Domestic Abuse Services – Our Lady of Good Counsel Society, to better reflect core values of compassion, safety, understanding, confidentiality, and hope, said Dowding.

After the passing of a national CWL resolution on the prevention of spousal abuse, a segment on spousal abuse was added to marriage preparation courses in the Vancouver archdiocese. It was “the fruit of six years of labour,” Dowding added.

She thanked Father Scott for his years as spiritual director and officially welcomed Father James Hughes as the new Domestic Abuse Services chaplain.

“We were fortunate to have Father Scott’s inspiring guidance for seven years and are thrilled that Father Hughes is guiding us now,” Dowding added.

“What I find so encouraging is that every time we have the chance to speak about this work, both successes and failures, people come forward to say that either they’ve been there themselves, or know someone who was or is a victim. There is pain and heartbreak, but most important, we have made the message of hope a reality.”

Mary Macdougall, Executive Director of Catholic Family Services of the Vancouver archdiocese, told The B.C. Catholic that Domestic Abuse Services has provided an invaluable service by raising awareness of domestic violence in society.

“Their education programs targetting students at the high school level are particularly helpful, and we have appreciated their collaboration with us in this area. Also, their work to provide emergency housing for women and their children in abusive situations when necessary has earned the respect of many.”

The help line telephone number of Domestic Abuse Services – Our Lady of Good Counsel Society is 604-640-7549 in the Vancouver area or 1-888-833-7733. Phones are staffed by trained volunteers from 10 a.m. to 10 p.m. daily, and an answering service refers after-hours callers to the next available volunteer.

Refuge is offered in safe, private, Christian homes for up to one month, and more permanent accommodation can be arranged.

Information about education programs in schools and parishes is available at www.domesticabuseservices.ca.