With parents' support, school can be enjoyable

By Marie Luttrell

School starts next week; parents have a challenging month ahead.

We have to restructure summer schedules to ease into school routines. We have to get out the school clothes, try them on, let down hems, buy new shoes, and make sure the school supply list is filled and ready to go.

We have to sign up for clubs, sports, and activities, get students into PREP programs, make sure that a suitable area for homework is prepared.

All the while we have to be aware of our children’s growth spurts, not only in size but also in abilities and interests, and mainly, we have to do all this while doing our very best at getting inside the shoes of our children and giving them direction and guidance at this busy and volatile time for them.

Our children, no matter whether they are going off to Grade 1, Grade 6, Grade 12, or into higher education, will set out on Tuesday with both excitement and a knot in their stomachs. It has been a long time since they have seen their classmates and looked at the inside of the school.

It might have been so long for little ones that they have forgotten some of the “how” of going to school. Older children might be looking forward very much to a new teacher, or dreading it.

Questions are bound to run through their minds as they prepare for the big day: “Will my friends like my new clothes?” “Will I make the basketball team?” “How hard is Math going to be this year?” “I’ve heard the new principal is tough but fair; I hope he can understand that problem we had last year.” “Will my school supplies be good enough?”

“I didn’t grow much over the summer; will my friends make fun of me?” “I really want to do better with my marks this year; whom can I get to help me?” “I’m just scared of my new school. I hope I can make new friends.”

These and a million other questions and self-doubts will be running through their minds, but there is a little scrambler at work inside them that jumbles it all up, so that by the time the question comes out of their mouths, it sounds like this:

“These pants are so dorky, Mom. Why did you talk me into buying them?”

“Jeff says my lay-ups are nowhere near as good as his. I’m not shooting hoops with him today.”

“Yeah, I kinda wanna go ta school, but I’d rather stay home and play video games.”

“Dad, will you tell Sarah to leave my stuff alone! She has her own school supplies!”

“I hate homework.”

“That new school is ugly.”

In the face of all this type of talk, it is easy to react. We might fly off the handle, or we might try to deny the feeling in our child. We might look at this son and say to ourselves that it was so much easier when my daughter went through all this, or vice versa.

What we are called to is the tough work of being real parents: of balancing the listening to the words of the heart with leadership; of seeing each of our children as unique while keeping our basic principles intact; of going back into our own experience to find empathy with their feelings while directing and offering the discipline to help them through this transition.

And as demanding as this time is on our children, it will be every bit as demanding a time for us.

Fortunately, we are the adults and have some perspective. It might take us some thought and extra preparation to try and stay one step ahead, and it will certainly feel like a good deal of work. This is the work for which we signed up, and for our children it is absolutely necessary.

Prepare well physically. Usually the less of a shock the morning wakeup is, the better. Children will be excited to get up the first day or two of school, but they will be less eager to jump out of bed after that.

Also, for the first month or so, be ready to have some very tired children and teens on your hands, so plan for a rest time after school, and earlier bedtimes. Remember how tiring it is when you yourself begin a new job.

Don’t forget nutrition. Kids will come home starving, so have plenty of nutritious snacks on hand. Stock up on the good foods they like for their lunches. Don’t let them out of the door without something to start their day.

Their bodies are under stress, and they will need all the good food you can provide. Keep family meals as sacred time. The soul receives its fundamental nutrition at the family table.

Set a solid, comfortable routine. Anticipate the amount of homework each child will have, and make sure that he has a quiet, well-lit, ample space in which to do it. For the first week or two, when he won’t have much homework, have some good reading material on hand, and start the routine of the homework space right away.

Reward your children with plenty of your own time. Sit and read with them, play a board game, take them outside to play catch, let them help you make dinner. If they are having struggles, it will more likely pop up at these moments than when we ask, “What did you learn today?” (The usual answer: nothing.)

The investment of our time, effort, and skills to guide our children through this time will pay off. They will soon be living the rhythm and the discipline of school.

With our support, it should be an enjoyable experience for them. That is reward in itself.